(RNS) — The following email came in this past weekend:
From: Donald J. Trump
Subject: Mark, you know I love you
To: Mark Silk
I’M MAKING AN EMERGENCY ANNOUNCEMENT IN 24 HOURS!
GIVE $5
But before I take the rally stage for the final time ahead of next week’s debate, I want to deliver Comrade Kamala a SOUL-CRUSHING DEFEAT.
Mark, I want to hear that YOU were the one to make it happen.
Kamala thinks her $500 million war chest guarantees her the White House, but she’s forgetting about our secret weapon: MAGA’S STRENGTH IN NUMBERS!
So before my rally, I’m personally calling on EVERY Patriot reading this message to chip in just $5 and make this the GREATEST FUNDRAISING DAY IN TRUMP HISTORY!
STAND WITH TRUMP
I’m counting on you.
If all of my top supporters dig deep and take their support to the next level, we’ll outraise Kamala before the debate!
I also just want to say I will always love you, so thank you for your support.
Please, stand with me today and let’s MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.
GIVE $5
Thank you,
Donald J. Trump
Here’s my reply.
From: Mark Silk
Subject: Really?
To: Donald J. Trump
I guess I should say thanks for the love, Donald.
The two of us (like you and “Comrade Kamala”) have never actually met, but back in April of 2016 I did take a couple of students to see you at a rally in Hartford, and the email I had to send in to register has earned me no end of communications from GOP candidates and officials, right-wing propagandists and influencers, and (presumably) Russian and Chinese and Iranian bots. For all of which I’m grateful, up to a point.
Your assumption seems to be that because I once attended a rally of yours, I’m one of your “top supporters.” False. I’ve never given you one thin dime, let alone five bucks. Or bought one of your Bibles.
But maybe some other community to which I belong has earned your love. Not, of course, the community of journalists, whom you like to call “THE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE.”
What about one of those ethnic groups the Brothers Gershwin cited as objects of electioneering affection in “Of Thee I Sing,” their musical about presidential politics:
Wintergreen for President! Wintergreen for President! He’s the man the people choose; Loves the Irish and the Jews.
Yes, I belong to the latter. But I don’t think you love the Jews, at least not most of them. After all, over 70% of us voted for Joe Biden in 2020.
You keep saying that we should vote for you or have our heads examined. My advice is, ask for our votes but don’t say we’re crazy not to do what you say. It kind of rubs us the wrong way.
Also, it would cut more mustard with the tribe if you didn’t say that there were good people chanting “The Jews will not replace us.” And if you didn’t have dinner with antisemites like Nick Fuentes and Ye. And if you didn’t keep your mouth shut when Tucker gave air time to a Holocaust denier.
That stuff matters more to us than moving the American embassy to Jerusalem.
But finally, there’s my community — better to call it a demographic cohort — of white, cisgender, heteronormative males over the age of 65. On the whole, we’re on your side.
The thing is, we get a little bit nervous when guys say they love us. If they say they like us, OK. Respect us, yes. Value us, of course. But love us?
As far as we’re concerned, that’s a little bit, well, weird.
