Dear We Are Teachers,
I teach high school journalism. One of our APs is, I swear, glued to our security cameras. He has used them to confront a pregnant teacher about the number of bathroom breaks she takes, the running time of a hallway convo between two teachers on their conference period, and teachers who arrive at school late or leave early, even by a minute or two.
Now, it would be one thing if he simply said, “Hey, this issue has come to my attention, try to do better.” But instead, every time he does this weird interrogation song and dance where he asks a teacher if they know how long they were away from their classroom, they answer, and then he flips his desktop monitor around to show them footage of “the truth.” It’s so shame-y and a total gotcha. I don’t mind being the one to confront this AP—but is it my place as a teacher to tell him his micromanagement style is completely wacky?
—”AP” Stands for “Astronomically Petty”
Dear A.P.S.F.A.P.,
You are correct that his behavior is astronomically petty. I know plenty of APs. I can’t imagine how any of them would ever have this much free time on their hands.
A warning: My guess is that a personality who relies on this bizarre, authoritarian management style is not going to respond well to feedback from people at work he clearly views as distrustful and inferior. That doesn’t mean I don’t think you should say something, though. Just be cautious.
First, are you comfortable voicing your concerns knowing he won’t take it well? Are you in a leadership position where you represent the opinions of other teachers, like a department chair or a mentor teacher? Do you have a good relationship with your principal, aka this AP’s boss? If you have no problem taking one for the team as the first step in moving up the chain of management, go for it.
If you’re not comfortable voicing your concerns, that’s OK too. I think it’s fair to keep your head down until this blows up in his face. Because, take it from someone who has watched plenty of tyrants self-implode over the years: They will eventually self-implode.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I’m hesitant to even write in about this because I feel like, out of context, I just sound like a terrible teacher/person. But I have a 7th grader whose contrarian “nature” is driving me bananas. He goes against the grain just for the sake of going against the grain, arguing back about everything under the sun. He’s not disrespectful about it and I know he’s a good kid, but when I have to derail class for 10 minutes to explain why his answer was, in fact, wrong or explain why we can’t run in the hallways in 7th grade, I just get exhausted. I know the rest of my class is very tired of it too. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he always goes back to arguing within a week. What would you do?
—Sorry, but Some Questions Are Dumb
Dear S.B.S.Q.A.D.,
Hahahaha. I’m only laughing from a place of understanding. Both in having had this personality type in class and in the self-reflection of, “What kind of teacher am I for getting so triggered by having to explain?” So much solidarity, my friend.
Have another conversation with this student, this time making a few things clear.
- Communicate—with genuine appreciation—his curiosity and willingness to push back. I would say something like, “You know one of the things I love most about teaching? Thinking about how my students are going to make things better in our world. I am so excited for you to make a difference in the systems we have that need fixing. Not taking no for an answer in the quest to make things better? That is a strength not a lot of people have, and it’s incredible to watch.”
- Insist that his questioning is not the problem—the time restraints of class are the problem. You simply don’t have the availability to give him the explanation he wants right at that moment. Explain that you’re happy to provide a quick explanation in class. But if he wants to get into a deeper discussion, he can make a quick note in his planner or on a sticky note to email you after class. Make sure he understands that you are in charge of determining when the discussion moves to email, not him.
- Set a few check-in times to see how this plan is going. Schedule one shorter-term check-in time (I would recommend a few days to a week). Ensure he knows that this first check-in is to determine whether he has been utilizing the email method successfully on his own or whether he needs “support at home” (i.e., letting his parents know). Then set a second check-in date maybe a month later to evaluate again. Just having these agreed-upon dates on the calendar will hopefully help cement the idea that you expect this behavior long-term.
Then, get that child tested for G/T because … dang.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I got this email from the father of one of my 3rd graders yesterday: “I would like to sit in on one of your classes. Please let me know a good date and time at your earliest convenience.” Nothing else! What’s a diplomatic way of saying, “Um, why, though?” Or should I just say yes? I have no issue with a parent coming to observe and have nothing to hide; it’s just weird to me to not give some kind of reason, especially when his child seems very well adjusted, happy, and progressing.
—You’re Freaking Me Out, Man
Dear Y.F.M.O.M.,
Yeah, I don’t like this either. I’ve had parents come in plenty of times. They’ve either wanted to observe their child’s behavior, get a sense of our writing workshop, or see how our Socratic Seminar works, things like that. But without providing any kind of context and demanding it at your earliest convenience, this reads as mistrustful and entitled instead of curious and cooperative.
I’d share it with your principal immediately. They can advise you on how to proceed, plus whether district protocol allows visitors at their own request like this. Plus, it needs to be on their radar if other similar requests come rolling in.
Do you have a burning question? Email us at askweareteachers@weareteachers.com.
Dear We Are Teachers,
I dread Valentine’s Day for many reasons as a middle school teacher, but among them is my school’s horrible Valentine Gram PTO fundraiser. It’s essentially a candygram system, but with levels that range from a $2 candy bar or lollipop all the way up to a $20 teddy bear with … wait for it … balloons. Not only do the actual items cause classroom disruptions, but every year I have students in tears due to the politics of this system. Teachers have complained for years but our principal refuses to stand up to the PTO. What can we do to get rid of this nightmare?
—Love Hurts
