Sometimes you just need a good laugh, and your students do too! Whether it’s a chuckle about classrooms, students, supplies, or teachers, these school jokes for kids are just the thing to take in when you need a bit of humor during the day.
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School Subject-Area Jokes
1. What is a snake’s favorite subject in school?
Hisssssstory.
2. What is a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling.
3. Why is history a sweet subject?
Because it has many dates.
4. What’s so fresh in the chemistry class?
The experiMINTS.
5. Why does the math class make students sad?
Because it is full of problems.
6. What’s a butterfly’s favorite subject?
MOTHematics.
7. Why did the student throw her watch out of the school window?
She wanted to see time fly.
8. Why do fireflies get bad grades at school?
Because they are not bright enough.
9. Why are chemists great at solving problems?
They have all the solutions.
10. Why did the scientist remove her doorbell?
She wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Classroom and School Supplies Jokes
11. Which school supply is king of the classroom?
A ruler.
12. Why was the broom late for school?
He over-swept.
13. Why did the egg get thrown out of class?
Because it kept telling yolks.
14. What does your computer do for lunch?
Has a byte.
15. What did one pencil say to the other on the first day of school?
Looking sharp!
16. What do you call a classmate with a dictionary in their pants?
Smartie pants.
17. Why do calculators make great friends?
You can always count on them.
18. What’s the best place to grow flowers in school?
In kindergarden.
19. What is the blackboard’s favorite drink?
Hot CHALKolate.
20. What does a thesaurus eat for breakfast?
A synonym roll.
21. What do you need to go to high school?
A ladder.
22. What does a book do in the winter?
Puts on a jacket.
23. Why isn’t there a clock in the library?
Because it tocks too much.
24. What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
25. Why did the square and triangle go to the gym?
To stay in shape.
26. What’s the most tired school supply?
A knapsack.
27. Which state is called the land of pencils?
Pennsylvania.
28. Who’s the superhero in computer class?
The Screen Saver!
29. What did the paper say to the pen?
You have a good point.
30. What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
The blackboard.
31. Why did the stapler break up with the paper?
It felt it was just too attached.
32. What did the pencil say to the sharpener?
“Stop going around in circles with me!”
33. Why did the glue get in trouble at school?
It couldn’t stick to the rules.
34. What’s the eraser’s life motto?
“Everybody makes mistakes!”
35. Why was the notebook so popular?
It had all the right lines.
36. What did the highlighter say to the textbook?
“I’ll bring out the best in you.”
Teacher and Principal Jokes
37. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school?
Because her students were so bright.
38. Why did the teacher jump into the pool?
He wanted to test the water.
39. What do you do if a teacher rolls her eyes at you?
Pick them up and roll them back!
40. Who is everyone’s best friend at school?
The princiPAL.
41. Why did the teacher draw on the window?
Because he wanted his lesson to be very clear.
42. Why do music teachers need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
43. What are the 10 things teachers can always count on?
Their fingers.
44. How did the music teacher get locked out of her classroom?
Her keys were on the piano.
45. Why are music teachers good baseball players?
Because they have a perfect pitch.
46. Which U.S. state has the most math teachers?
Mathachusetts!
47. Why did the principal start a gardening club?
To help students grow.
48. Which tree is the math teacher’s favorite?
GeomeTREE.
49. Why did the teacher wear a helmet to class?
She was teaching “crash” courses.
50. What did the music teacher say to her class?
“Let’s find harmony in learning!”
School Jokes About Animals
51. Why did the dog do so well in school?
Because he was the teacher’s pet.
52. Why are fish so smart?
Because they live in schools.
53. What time would it be if Godzilla came to school?
Time to run!
54. How do fish get to school?
The octobus!
55. What does a spider do on the internet?
Create a WEBsite.
56. What dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
The thesaurus.
57. What did the buffalo say at drop-off?
Bi-son.
58. What contest do skunks win at school?
The smelling bee!
59. What’s a frog’s favorite year?
A leap year.
60. Which animal cheats on exams?
A CHEATah.
61. How do bees get to school?
On the school buzz.
Math and Numbers Jokes
62. Why is 2 + 2 = 5 like your left foot?
It’s not right.
63. How do you make seven an even number?
By removing the S.
64. Why do we measure a snake in inches?
Because it doesn’t have feet.
65. What makes a circle overqualified?
It has 360 degrees!
66. Why is the obtuse angle always upset?
Because it can never be right.
67. Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
68. Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
69. Why don’t parallel lines ever get together?
Because they never meet.
70. What did the triangle say to the circle?
“You’re pointless.”
71. Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
72. Why did the student do multiplication problems on the floor?
Because the teacher said not to use tables.
Science and Technology Jokes
73. How do you know that Saturn was married more than once?
Because it has so many rings!
74. Why didn’t the sun go to college?
Because it already has many degrees.
75. When do student astronauts eat?
During launch time.
76. How do astronauts organize a party?
They planet.
77. What do you call a bunch of iron atoms at a carnival?
A ferrous wheel.
78. Why can you never trust atoms?
They make up everything.
More School Jokes
79. Which letter of the alphabet has the most water?
The “C.”
80. What do elves learn in school?
The elf-abet.
81. Why do magicians do so well in school?
They’re good at trick questions.
82. Why did the kid eat his homework?
Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake.
83. What kind of school do surfers go to?
Boarding school.
84. How many letters are in the alphabet?
11: T-H-E A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
85. Why did the jellybean go to school?
To become a Smartie.
86. What school requires you to drop out in order to graduate?
Skydiving school.
87. Why did the girl do her homework on an airplane?
To achieve a higher education.
88. Why can’t pirates learn the alphabet?
Because they keep getting lost at C.
89. What should you grow in a school garden?
Human beans.
90. What school does an ice cream man go to?
Sundae school.
91. Which is the tallest school building?
The library, because it has so many stories.
92. Which are the smartest letters of the alphabet?
The (wise) Ys.
93. What are the coolest letters of the alphabet?
AC.
94. Why couldn’t the skeleton go to school?
His heart just wasn’t in it.
95. Why did the cafeteria serve math books for lunch?
Because they wanted to add more to the menu.
96. Why did the student bring a pillow to class?
Because they were studying restful thinking.
97. How does a brain stay in shape?
It does a lot of thought-lifting.
98. Why don’t books ever make good comedians?
Because they always get judged by their covers.
99. Which is the shortest month of the year?
May—it has only three letters.
100. How much do rainbows weigh?
Not much—they’re actually pretty light.
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