Need to bring a little humor to your learning space? These jokes for teens are clean, cheesy, and a perfect way to brighten the mood! As always, be sure to review this list before sharing to ensure they align with your values and preferences.
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Classic Jokes for Teens
1. What is a teenager who never grows called?
Constantine.
2. Why does a music teacher need a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
3. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
4. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
5. What travels the world but stays in one corner?
A stamp.
6. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
7. Why do pimples make horrible prisoners?
Because they keep breaking out!
8. Why do pirates have to learn the alphabet?
If they don’t, they’ll be lost at C.
9. What can you catch but not throw?
Your breath.
10. What are the most popular perfumes for ages 12 to 18?
Adolescents.
11. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it was two-tired.
12. Why did the man fall down the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.
13. What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman.
Animal Jokes for Teens
14. Why are frogs always so happy?
They eat whatever bugs them.
15. What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?
It gets toad away.
16. Where do cats go swimming?
The kitty pool.
17. Can you put the cat out?
Why, is it on fire?
18. What is the wake-up time for ducks?
The quack of dawn.
19. What did the duck say when she bought lipstick?
“Put it on my bill.”
20. How many tickles make an octopus laugh?
Ten-tickles.
21. What animal is the worst at hiding?
Leopards. They’re always spotted.
22. What do you call a cow with no GPS?
Udderly lost.
23. What do you call a rash on a pig?
Hogwarts.
24. How do you communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line.
25. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meowtain.
26. What do you call an elephant that doesn’t matter?
Irrelephant.
27. What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investi-gator.
28. What do you call a grizzly with bad teeth?
A gummy bear.
29. Why can’t a T-Rex clap its hands?
Because they’re extinct.
30. How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together.
31. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?
It has a silent P.
Food Jokes for Teens
32. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese.
33. How do wicked chickens reproduce?
They lay deviled eggs.
34. What kind of tea is hard to swallow?
Reali-tea.
35. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot.
36. Why did the student eat his homework?
Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.
37. What kind of milk does a pampered cow give?
Spoiled milk.
38. What did the grape say when it was pinched?
Nothing, it just started to whine.
39. Why does ice cream get invited to every party?
Because it’s cool and sweet.
40. Why are eggs bad at telling jokes?
They always crack each other up.
41. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An “impasta.”
42. Where do fruits go on vacation?
Pearis.
43. Where can you learn to make ice cream?
Sundae school.
44. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
45. What is orange and red and full of disappointment?
High school pizza.
46. Where do hamburgers take their dates for romantic dancing?
The Meat Ball.
Math Jokes for Teens
47. What is 12 + 78 / 3 × 54 + 66?
A headache.
48. Why was the math book bummed?
It had a lot of problems.
49. Why shouldn’t you worry about passing math?
Because it’s easy as pi.
50. If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
51. Why was the equal sign so humble?
Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.
52. How do you make seven an even number?
Just delete the “s.”
53. Why is math class so much like a forest?
It’s full of natural logs.
54. Why did the two fours skip lunch?
They already 8.
55. What’s a math teacher’s favorite kind of tree?
Geometry.
56. Why don’t you ever argue with a 90-degree angle?
Because it’s always right.
57. Why did the student wear glasses during math class?
To improve division.
58. Why was the calculus teacher always tired?
She kept running out of functions.
59. Why don’t students trust math teachers?
Because they’re always plotting something.
Science Jokes for Teens
60. What’s the most hardworking part of the eye?
The pupil.
61. What is the one reason you cannot trust atoms?
They make up everything.
62. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
63. What should you do when no one laughs at your science jokes?
Keep trying till you get a reaction.
64. What did one DNA strand say to the other?
“Do these genes make me look fat?”
65. Why did the chemist break up with the biologist?
There was no chemistry.
66. What did the limestone say to the geologist?
“Don’t take me for granite!”
67. What’s a physicist’s favorite food?
Fission chips.
68. What do you do with a sick chemist?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
69. How does a scientist freshen their breath before a big test?
With experi-mints!
School and Homework Jokes for Teens
70. What’s a teacher’s favorite nation?
Expla-nation.
71. Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
He wanted to go to high school.
72. What did the paper say to the pencil?
“Write on!”
73. Why is history so cool?
It has a lot of dates.
74. What do you call a teacher who never farts in public?
A private tutor.
75. What’s the most important subject a witch learns in school?
Spelling.
76. Why did the student throw a clock out the window?
To see time fly!
77. Why did the homework file a police report?
Because it got bitten by the dog.
78. Why didn’t the pencil do its homework?
It was feeling a bit pointless.
79. Why did the student bring scissors to school?
To cut class.
80. What’s a ghost’s favorite homework?
Boo-k reports.
Sports Jokes for Teens
81. How is a magician similar to a hockey player?
They can both do hat tricks.
82. How do basketball players always stay cool?
They sit near their fans.
83. Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
Just in case he needed to tie the score.
84. Why was the basketball team so messy?
They always dribbled on the court.
85. What do you call a pig who plays basketball?
A ball hog.
86. Why can’t tennis players play hide-and-seek?
They make a racquet.
87. What kind of stories do basketball players tell?
Tall tales.
88. Why did the football team go to the bank?
To get their quarterback.
89. What’s a cheerleader’s favorite drink?
Root beer.
90. Why did the track runner get promoted?
He was always going the extra mile.
91. Why don’t basketball players go on vacation?
They don’t want to get called for traveling.
92. What’s a boxer’s favorite part of a joke?
The punchline.
Nature Jokes for Teens
93. How do mountains keep themselves warm during winter?
Snowcaps.
94. Which is the best day to go to the beach?
SUNday.
95. How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it.
96. Can February March?
No, but April May.
97. Why did the teacher go to the beach?
To test the waters.
98. Why did the tree go to therapy?
It had too many branches of issues.
99. What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, they just waved.
100. Why are mountains always so funny?
Because they’re hill areas.
101. What did the tree wear to the pool party?
Its swim trunks.
102. What’s a tornado’s favorite game to play?
Twister!
103. Why did the sun go to school?
To get a little brighter.
104. What kind of tree can fit in your hand?
A palm tree.
105. What does a cloud wear under its clothes?
Thunderwear.
106. Why did the river break up with the ocean?
It just felt like they were drifting apart.
Pop Culture Jokes for Teens
107. What did Jay-Z call his girlfriend before they got married?
Feyoncé.
108. How do Minecraft players celebrate?
They throw block parties.
109. How did the hipster’s mouth burn?
He had pizza before it was cool.
110. What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop.
111. Why did Harry Potter suddenly go bald in his teens?
He lost his Hedwig.
112. What do you call hiking U.S. college students?
The walking debt.
113. Why did Spider-Man’s girlfriend break up with him?
Because she found him too clingy.
114. Why did Iron Man make an excellent parent?
Because he always said “I love you 3000.”
115. Why does Pikachu make a terrible detective?
Because he always shocks the witness.
116. Why doesn’t Voldemort use social media?
He can’t find any followers!
117. How does Darth Vader like his toast?
On the dark side.
Tech Jokes for Teens
118. What do computers snack on?
Microchips.
119. What would you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time.
120. Why are spiders such know-it-alls?
They’re always on the web.
121. How are parties organized at NASA?
They planet.
122. What did one light bulb say to the other?
Watt’s up?
123. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
It had a virus.
124. Why was the smartphone late to work?
It lost its signal.
125. Why don’t robots ever panic?
They’ve got nerves of steel.
126. Why was the computer so good at making friends?
It always knew how to network.
127. Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because the light attracts bugs.
128. Why did the computer feel queasy?
It had too many cookies.
129. How did the computer act when it got cold?
It froze.
Seasonal Jokes for Teens
130. Why did the skeleton refuse to celebrate Halloween?
It didn’t have the guts.
131. Why does no one make friends with Dracula?
He is a pain in the neck.
132. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite.
133. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was out standing in his field.
134. Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
135. What is an old snowman called?
A puddle.
136. Why was the elf so confident?
He had great elf-esteem!
137. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?
They always drop their needles.
138. What’s Santa’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music.
139. Why do ornaments love Christmas so much?
They get to hang out with all the lights.
140. What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
A cookie sheet.
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